What It’s Really Like to be a New Mom?
‘The moment a child is born, a mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.’ And so in you the child your mother lives on and through your family continues to live.. so at this time look after yourself and your family as you would your mother for though you all she will truly never die.”
Motherhood is a gift from God. It changes you inside out, refreshes you, flushes out the toxins that were residing in your body before and makes you happy, so happy that you cry out of joy.
The moment you hear your baby cry for the first time, you automatically start crying. It happens to every mother. It’s a feeling that cannot be expressed in words.
“Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.”
– Robert Browning
It is an ultimate experience and I wish that every woman in this world feels this joy at one point in their life. Motherhood is a choice you make every day to put someone else ahead of you. It’s worth every pain you bear & everything you suffer from, from the first day of your pregnancy to the day you give birth and even after that.
Some mothers say that nurturing a baby is hard, pregnancy is easy. But in my opinion, pregnancy is hard. But once, you give birth to your baby, everything settles down, things move with the flow, everything seems easy and interesting. You feel eternal love and joy. You feel like you have your world in your arms.
Nothing is better than the feeling of hugging your baby for the first time and how he/she smells, IT’S OUT OF THIS WORLD!
You don’t feel like crap anymore. You don’t feel useless anymore. This is something you have achieved. It’s a beautiful payback for your hard work. A LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT! Being a mother is simply the greatest accomplishment in a women’s life.
Your Nine-Month Journey & Delivering the Baby!
Giving birth is no doubt, the most rewarding thing a woman can give in her life and be proud of what she has done, as the babies grow to a loving and kind adult.
It all starts with that one day you take the home pregnancy test. It’s positive! What? WHAT? W.H.A.T?
You rub your eyes, see it again, yep it’s positive. You take the test again, again & finally one more time. Still cannot believe? I’ve been through this.
You give blood to assure. Yep, it’s confirmed. Congratulations!
Visit a doctor. Within your first few visits, you see a teeny, tiny heartbeat on the screen. Yep, that’s the love of your life. And it’s official.
It’s time to get prepared for a nine-month-long journey which is divided into three months; each known as a trimester. There will be three trimesters. Read books, articles, watch videos & movies. Talk and take help from experienced mothers.
Now, you’re on a roller coaster. Best of luck!
After a few days, nausea, morning sickness, back pain, vomiting, and aversions sink in. The first trimester is hard, very hard. Everyone is telling you to do this and that. Nobody actually knows how you feel. Leg pains, insomnia, nightmares. It happens, it gets worse. But it’s all worth it! Stay strong!
Nobody likes apples and watermelons during these months. All you want is either ice-cream or pickles, or both. Mood swings, everywhere and weird cravings too.
The second trimester is comparatively easier. But it’s still tough. But the best things happen. One of them is feeling your baby move for the first time. MESMERIZING!
Pregnancy glow, where are you? I never saw it. All I could face was acne, all over my body. Strange cravings, multivitamins, round ligament pain. When is this going to end? Soon. You’re halfway there!
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The third trimester is the hardest, with mood swings and aggression! You have to pee every hour or so. Lower abdominal pains, stretch marks, urge to scratch your skin, itchy.
Acid reflux, lower back pain, pressure on the lower abdomen, pain in legs.
DELIVERING THE BABY
Now, this is the HARDEST PART. Whether you deliver normally or Caesarean, it’s harder than anything you’ve ever experienced. But it will pass.
“The natural state of MOTHERHOOD is UNSELFISHNESS. When you become a mother, you are no longer the centre of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.”
– Jessica Lange
And YOU’LL FORGET EVERYTHING, ONCE YOU GET TO HOLD YOUR BABY. Trust me. As if it never happened.
This is when you start your actual journey with huge responsibilities. But you’ll be willing to do ANYTHING & EVERYTHING for your baby.
Becoming a mother makes you feel joyful, elated, empowered, and invincible. You’ve just pushed another human being out of your body, and you’re unprepared for all the things that come so quickly. While you’re in the hospital, you’ve got plenty of help, but when you go home, it’s all up to you.
You haven’t healed yet. But you still manage to get up, sit & feed your baby. You start changing those dirty diapers, the day you are discharged from the hospital. You take care of the baby more than yourself.
Never felt like this for anyone, before? This is the feeling only for your own baby.
Feel like crying when your baby is in pain? Want to take his/her pain away. Do anything to make him/her feel better. That’s a mother’s eternal love.
Up all night, taking care of the baby, with those unhealed stitches. Working all day, with the feeders, diapers, and dresses and taking care of the house chores. Now you’re on a full-time duty. But you love it, don’t you?
You may feel weary, irritable, touchy, depressed, anxious or more emotionally sensitive than usual, for a few days after giving birth. These feelings are known as ‘baby blues’ and they are absolutely normal. It’s a physically and emotionally challenging time.
It is not an illness and should lift without any medical treatment, by the time your baby is around 10 days old.
But, at the same time, you’ll feel joy and happiness. Try talking to your partner or close friends or a new parent about your emotions after giving birth.
Take good care of yourself and maintain a healthy diet to make sure you are fulfilling the needs of your body as well as your baby, especially if you are breastfeeding.
MOTHERING YOUR CHILD AS HE/SHE GROWS:
“Having kids – the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings – is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”
– Maria Shriver
As I experienced it, I’d say the first few weeks after the baby is born are the most difficult.
You have to feed the baby after every two or three hours, change diapers regularly, take the baby out for some sunshine, keeping the temperature warm for the baby (while you are sweating), taking care of the guests, dealing with leaky breasts, cleaning up the mess, making food (if you live alone), all of this along with bearing the pain of those fresh, unhealed stitches, plus you’re bleeding continuously and also those postpartum mood swings. That is the hardest part those first few weeks.
“There will be so many times you feel like you’ve failed. But in the eyes, heart and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”
– Stephanie Precourt
When your baby is around 2 months old, things start to settle down. Everything tends to get back in place, no more bleeding, no more visits to the hospital, no more mood swings, the baby starts to settle in a routine, bath times are easier. And finally, you can get some sleep at night. Yaayy!!
Once, the first 6 months have passed, you are back on track. Trust me! Most of the babies either sleep throughout the night by this time or wake up only once. Now you and your baby can have a good routine. The baby settles with the temperature, starts semi-liquid foods, which is a very exciting phase. The baby starts recognizing you (and honestly the feeling of your baby recognizing you and staring at you constantly is one of the real joys of being a mom), plays a lot, smiles a lot and loves to babble.
Now it’s the time to start teaching, a few hand gestures, a few words, routines and all.
This goes on and on. Of course, a mom can never take a week off, or even a day. You’ll be really exhausted at times, you’ll be frustrated, BUT THIS IS ALL WORTH IT, girls. If it was that bad, every mother would have only one kid.
Once you have a baby, your feelings will change and so will you and your priorities. Everything will be easy and stable before you know it. Just have one or two supportive people in your life and you are all set!
I know it’s definitely not easy to become a mom, but at the end, your baby is worth the effort. Someone once said,
“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.”
I live with my husband and my baby in Saudi Arabia. We live in a studio apartment. I’m a part-time blogger & YouTuber.
It seems like it’s so easy for me to do everything, but the answer is NO. A BIG NO!
I’m working most of the time. I, obviously, do take rest, sleep and do fun activities. But the way I used to do it before, was so much fun. I was totally independent. Nobody relied on me. I used to do whatever I wanted to and whenever I wanted to and however I wanted to.
Now I have to adjust according to my baby. I wait for her to fall asleep to take a shower or sometimes even, to just pee. Honestly, sometimes it’s that bad.
“Being a mom has made me so tired and so happy.”
– Tina Fey
But I enjoy it. I enjoy spending time with her, looking at her, playing with her and getting her dressed and changing those dirty poopy pampers after every three hours or so. I love cuddling with her, sleeping next to her and I cherish her presence in my life. She is my best friend, she belongs to me and is a part of my body.
In the start it was hard, but I did it! I made it through the first few months and now we kinda have a routine and I get a few hours of sleep at night and I get to do the house chores during the day.
I, honestly, couldn’t ask for more. I’m so happy with the God’s Will of blessing me with a baby. Now, I cannot imagine my life without her. When it all started, I was so upset about having a baby and taking care of her. I was scared by the thought of the responsibility of growing a child. But now I am more than happy that God made this decision and that I’m a mother.
Although I lost most of my friends after becoming a mother and the majority of them are still unmarried, others are newlyweds without babies. I’m the only one in my social circle of friends, with a baby and I could literally see a difference after my baby was born. Nobody talked with me the way they used to, nobody asked me about anything, no text, no phone calls, nothing. I hardly have two friends at this point, who are in touch and have the concern about my daughter and me.
But I’m okay with that. After the baby, God has shown me the real faces of the people who I thought, were my loyal friends. And as a replacement, God gave me my beautiful and lovely daughter, whom I love to the heaven and back.
My journey was hard but IT WAS ALL WORTH IT. I have no regrets, as the matter of fact I feel like crying out of joy whenever I look at my baby’s face. Nothing in the world is brighter for me than her face. I wish all the happiness of the world for her.
I still remember those tough nights and now they are just happy memories and beautiful moments I had with my daughter.
Everything will pass.
If you’re just getting started to stay strong and enjoy your journey. You’ll learn a lot and you’ll feel a lot better once you’ve been through everything. It will change you for good. It will make you a better person. Trust me. You’ll love your life, afterward. You’ll love yourself even more.
The whole situation will make sense. Just wait for it.
Are you a new mommy or mom-to-be?
If you need any guidance or just want to share your feelings, I’m always here for you. Feel free to email me at email@example.com and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible!
And to the mothers out there, enlighten us with your lovely stories in the comment box below.
Loads of love to everyone, especially the moms and moms-to-be! You are all superwomen! xoxo
LET’S BE FRIENDS!